How about a Bun from Dad’s oven

 

So this one’s coming right fresh from my mind, and even when it is 1:02 am in this land down under, I couldn’t refrain myself from this pleasure…of writing….writing finally, after so many days…weeks and months I guess!! So after so many stagnant-cursor-watching-sessions of mine & endless encouragements from friendly souls, here I am, ecstatic, to finally type and see the cursor move.

I was just telling hubby dear about this incident, that had happened a few years ago, 4 years ago to be precise. I was a new mommy bee and had just resumed work after a 4-month maternity break. A few weeks later, the employee care community at work had organised a social event where we all had to come to work all dressed up in Indian ethnic wear.  And as we say in India, we do nothing for free, so the community announced that the best dressed would be chosen for a question-answer round and the winners would be prized. That was enough an incentive for a bored office public to come dressed up to work, as dolled up as possible.

As it happened, I got chosen for the question-answer round from my team, strangely enough, as I wasn’t even my very confident self that day – Thanks to my post-partum hormones. Anyway, there I was standing on the small podium of the office cafeteria, faced by my corporate division’s who’s who. The organiser pulled out a question for me from a list full of some old-school beauty pageant’s finale.

The question was “Given a chance, what one thing would you like to change in the world  & Why?” (On another note all-together, thank God I was in India and this question was asked by an Indian, cause had it been for some Aussie, I would have never on the face of this earth understood “Goiven aey choince, what oyaine thoing would you loike to chaonge oin this woerld?” anyway, not being able to understand Aussie accent is completely another story, which I shall truly narrate some other time). Huh..anyway…so hearing this question, the first thought that came to the new-momma-me and that what I blurted out was “I would like to change the system of birth, I would like men to try giving birth”. *clap clap clap*. All the ladies in the crowd couldn’t just stop admiring the proposition as if I was really asking for some votes on this decision that I had to make for the world. Now for the ‘Why’ part of the question, I continued answering “and that is because I believe mums, rather than dads, get more love from their children because they endure physical pain to bring them into this world, and I believe fathers are no less, thus they too deserve the same love & emotions from their children” I had to cut it this short because of course, it was a contest and not a philosophical seminar on “World Improvement Thoughts by Reema Arora”. And not so surprisingly, no one understood the why part of my answer and all the claps faded away. A close friend even told me later that evening that I gave the right answer with a wrong explanation.

I don’t want to tell you what was the contest result because, no prizes for guessing – I didn’t win..Shhh!!

Anyways, so this fine night, I was explaining it to myself what I actually meant when I had said that. See, we all know and believe mothers are the best! We write poems about motherly love and consider it the most divine power on the face of earth, we compare mums to no less than the ultimate power driving the universe. But if we really think, what is it that mums do and dads don’t. Do dads not know how to inculcate values in the young hearts, Do dads not know how to nurture young buds into honest nice humble human beings, Do dads not know how to make them brave enough to face the world, Do dads not know what to feed them, Do dads not know how to make them skilled, Do dads not sit by their bedside when we fall sick, Do dads not worry about them when they forget to return missed calls and don’t show up until 3 am in the morning, Do dads not protect them from evils….Yeah..Dads don’t endure a physical pain to bring them into this world…yes, that’s true, absolutely true…hmm…so we found one thing that dad’s don’t do…but aren’t we forgetting something here… it is not “Dads don’t” it is “ Dads can’t”. Had nature given them an opportunity, probably they would have done it, am sure they would have done it, because they have a huge sense of responsibility & love for their wife and their child. Had they been given an option, they would have certainly chosen themselves over their wives to undergo this unexplainable experience. And who knows, probably they would have handled the post natal much better than us ladies, cause they are much more headstrong, not swayed away by mood swings and less likely to fall into depression. And then the one thing that they don’t do, would have turned around and made them equally loved like mums. Or better still, mum and dad could take turns…an ideal world with complete load balancing!! Aha!!

The point is, we really don’t know what one can achieve unless they are given a chance…God –  I hope you are reading this…

Loads of Love

Reema~~

Unqualified Parenting

I was wondering today that we don’t get any job in the world unless we are qualified for it – forget about the big hot shot degrees holders, even when we employee a domestic help, we ask for her experience and test her cooking/cleaning/babysitting skills before making our decision – everyone wants a skilled person to do their job, be it a multi-national, or a simple household. Fare enough!!

But THEN,  why on earth are we not educated, or checked to be qualified, to be a (good) parent prior to becoming one, when in fact becoming a parent is THE most important job that we probably do in our whole life span – after all it means to have successfully shaped a life, a human being –  who would become an independent individual one day, with whom the society has to deal with one day, who will go on to form another set of family one day….An individual who should know the meaning of loving, respecting, caring, working, living life & yes, PARENTING.

And yet, for the most important job in the world, nobody checks if we can do it right, nobody checks if we have the right skills, nobody, the child doesn’t hold an interview before employing us in the lifelong parenthood contract (that would be weird though…). No checks, absolutely None!! Anyone can become a parent, of course with the right organs in the right place…

People say, parenting comes to everyone naturally. Really?? Does it? I beg to differ here. No it doesn’t. Most of us parents are learning everyday by hit n trial, and most of us feel good about what we do because the results aren’t out yet, they would be out decades later, may be we wont be here when the results would be out.

Some say, its simple, extreme of anything is bad – so just exercise moderation, in love, pampering, anger, feeding etc. But I wonder at times, how much actually IS too much?? And then, there are others who would say, just follow your parents, and I am like yeah!! I wish I could! But just 2 concerns– I cant seem to recall anything from 25 years ago…and I am not living in a time 25 years ago!!!

I wish there was a mandatory parenting course, which could make us all understand some basic concepts on parenting, so that our children would turn out to be better humans than us and of course would then make this world a much safer place to live…

Until then, like all others, I’ll continue parenting on my instincts , keeping faith – fingers crossed for the results!!!