#RealOverVirtual #OfflineIsBetter

On Why I am craving for Nokia 1100 & Why I quit social media today…

It is believed that if you dream of your childhood classroom, your mind is craving for simpler times. I dreamt of Nokia 1100 last night, my first ever mobile phone gifted by my parents in my second year of Uni. I am assuming this is my twenty-first century brain trying to remind me of simpler times in my life. In this modern world, we are so connected to our virtual ‘friends & followers’ that we are totally disconnected with the ‘real’ ones. Today, after probably a decade long love-hate relationship with the social media, I quit, and here’s why:

  1. Consider this:

 On seeing his beloved wife online on watsapp, husband types:’Having a bad day at work

Wife replies in a nano second ‘Busy, will ttyl

Well, we can give her benefit of doubt here, she was probably only online to tell her watsapp friends that she’s busy.

At home that evening, husband ‘Hun I am feeling very restless because of what happened at work today

Wife <not moving from eyes from her screen for a second>  ‘Hey I saw a video on the train back home about how to relieve one’s mind off anxiety, restlessness etc…, I will forward it to you straight away’…<her phone trings>

I, for one, love my husband and respect my marriage too much to put it through any risk of intoxicating it like that.

2. Because I want to kill my need for social validation before it completely kills my self-confidence. The day I stopped getting less than 3 digit likes/comments, I thought I am doomed. My life ain’t stunning anymore to anyone. Well, my life should be beautiful because I deserve so, not because people would judge if it ain’t.

3. Sibling rivalry is a thing of the past. Kids today aren’t as jealous of their smart sibling as they are of their parent’s smartphones. My kiddo, being the one and only child, has all her undivided jealousy focussed towards my phone. I reckon she should win!

4. ‘She doesnt read much, her reader’s diary record is low’, her teacher tells me. And I wonder why? I used to read a lot of books when I was a child and I keep telling her to read books while I am super absorbed with my phone. Well, I wondered only because I had forgotten, children don’t hear us, they imitate us.

5. Because I want to have both my hands free, to hold hands with my husband and my daughter at the same time, to dance whenever I wish to, to be normal again. God forbid the world fall apart that our phones aren’t looked at the second they tring! And no, this wouldn’t change even when they start making all women’s dresses with pockets!

6. Because I am afraid that we are on the reverse path of evolution, Remember the ape to human posture diagram they teach us at school, yeah, we definitely are tracing that back now and No thanks, I don’t wanna be a part of that. I am pretty sure none of my dresses would look nice on a bent spine me.

7. Because no one saw the beautiful rainbow on the train ride to work today. And I would’ve missed it too had I been suffering from the oh-my-eyes-will-stop-functioning-properly-without-a-dose-of-vitamin-c(ell) blindness syndrome too. There was one more thing no one noticed…A disabled teenage boy needed help when his metro card fell to the floor when he is was trying to adjust his wheelchair position. He probably would have had a hard time getting off the train without the card. Thank God someone wasn’t completely engrossed in their phone and saw it fall, and handed it back to him.

8. Watsapp – More like ‘whatcr*p’ – Seriously, like who has a group of 67 family members, and who would give a rats to check out the photos from your second cousin’s child’s friends’ first birthday celebration just because they have an oh so cute Incredibles theme balloon decor! Spare me the horror please! And seriously, that teenage girl in that ‘missing person’ photo circulating from 3 odd years now, is unable to go to school. The moment she steps out of her house, some good Samaritan escorts her back to her home because he saw the ‘very urgent and for a noble deed’ forwarded message from his aunt, not realising the poor girl had come home the same evening after, upon spending a little extra time at her friend’s place, her missing person message was forwarded to her own phone by 13 of her whatsapp groups. And don’t even get me started on the 76 good morning messages I receive from my family back in India when it is 12:30pm my time. I almost opened my preso with a ‘Good morning everyone’ in an evening session the other day. Talk about global time zone eh!

9. Because ‘speaking’ has shifted to an ‘unknown skill domain’. We prefer to chat/text/Skype message/ written word in short over verbal, if we have a choice. Have you noticed we struggle now-a-days to look directly at a person’s face while talking to them. We’ll look everywhere but at the person we are talking to. In olden days, it was the body language sign for hiding the truth. Either everyone is lying or I should probably stick a tiny screen between my brows to get people to look me in the eye when they are talking to me. Wouldn’t that be fun!#AlienTrendAlert #ScreenBrows

10. I do not want to receive ads for ‘cheap flights to best holiday destinations’ on my facebook feed when my husband texts me ‘Lets go for a vacay’. Hello!! What part of the word Privacy was left unexplained to these people at their school. And how creepy it is when your phone knows exactly where you’re headed the moment you get into your car and will try to win the race by telling you which route is the fastest even before the car GPS can turn on.

11. I don’t want technology to cripple me. I’ll use it when I need it! I’ll not allow it to use me!Period!

Love

R~

It sure was a Happy Mother’s Day!

I am a worrier…no you read it correctly, ‘worry-ier’ not ‘warrior’. And ever since I became a mum, I believe I have turned into this paranoid me where my brain constantly filters all incoming information and thoughts first through a does-it-have-a-direct-impact-on-my-child lens and then what-about-an-indirect-impact lens followed by a I-cannot-see-an-impact-but-there-must-be-one-so-lets-make-one-up lens.

Its like my mind comes up with these wierd sense-less negative scenarios and they constantly play in the backdrop of all activity happening in my mind. At first, I used to blame my inner software tester, where the most important attribute to have is to be able to identify scenarios where the system would break and fail. But I think it got too far into my little ‘mommy-brain’.

My worst fear and a cause of constant worry was (and always will be, I guess) that my child will inherit my bad habits or acquire those traits of mine or shall I say drawbacks, which I am not proud of. Worse, what if she inherits my health problems…I would never forgive myself.

A vicious circle of negativity, ey! However, what came about as the most beautiful gift this Mother’s day was something that has slapped these negative thoughts down. My 8yo wrote me a poem, A POEM…..I wonder where she gets it from!!

So what if I pass on a few of my not-so-wonderful talents, such as the ability to sleep for 18 hours straight, at least she’s got something good from me, and heck ya, she’s much better at this than me. See it for yourself:

I Love You Mum

I love roses, I love lilies, but most of all I Love You

and that will always be so true

You hug me so tight

and wake me up when bright

Thank you for all you have done for me

and teach me so much so I succeed

I can rely on you and you can too

so Bestie, I Love You!!

~~Aa & her rainbow friend

N2knyJz1S2SBUH0gF5FzcgTold ya so!!

I hope all you mummies out there had a memorable day….I know I sure did!!

Love

R

Tagged: Momma Drama

We all go through three phases in life. ‘My-mum-my-Superhero’ phase lasts for the first 10 years or so. Its the time when you look up to your mum for anything and everything; she’s the most beautiful face in the world with a cuddle so warm it could just melt your fears away. You tell her everything, share every dilemma, seek her advice on everything and apply it too.

Then comes the fun ‘I-am-the-rebel-hero’ phase. Pretty much when puberty hits. Suddenly, mum’s the one person who knows nothing. You pretty much know it all and know it better. Advice….Nah! Who needs that when you are high on ‘I have to prove I am a grown up’ hormones. Forget about sharing every minute detail of your life, telling her where you are and how long you’ll be there falls below the priority line on our growth chart.

‘My-mother-was-right’ phase follows, usually after having kids of your own. You cry while feeding your child at 1:46am, remembering and cherishing memories of your childhood, you appreciate how your mum could listen to the same story you just had to share with her endless number of times, how you were the top of her priority list every single time, how you became so mean to her, may be even outright rude at times, what pain she may have to brace while raising you…..and all you do is Thank her in your heart for simply being your mum and try and hope and pray that your child sees the ‘superhero’ in you one day.

Life is a full circle, one may wonder

An innocent rain is childhood, teenage a thunder

A storm is necessary at times to shake things up

Let’em fly, rain or thunder, wings up

Fly back home they always will

Aah…The joys of parenting

An empty nest at times

At times, all blanks fill

~

R

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mi Acento!

It is a trait I was born with, definitely passed on to me genetically. It just happens so organically that I sometimes don’t even realise I am doing it. Hubby dear, however, catches it, if he is there of course, almost instantly and tells me am doing it again. That doesn’t guarantee that I would stop though, most of the times it is out of my control.

I start talking in the accent of the person I am talking to. Language of course is mine, but accent shifts to that of the other person. Now you know what the tagline on my home page means, eh ‘I am to you what you are to me’. My tone, of course, follows my accent.

An Indian or anyone who has been to India would know that there are more than 120 major and about 1600 regional languages spoken in the land of diversity. The language, or accent, at least the tone differs every 2 blocks or so. My dad mostly worked in the state of Haryana in India, but he met and worked with people from all over India – Bihar, Andhra, Kannada, you name it! And I always used to wonder how does he do it. He used to talk to them in English or Hindi but in a completely different accent to how he would speak to us. I found it very inspiring. He mentioned that people feel comfortable talking to him as speaking to them in a familiar accent soothes them and makes them feel at home.

I had little exposure at practicing because all my class friends were mostly locals. I dont know about my Hindi or English accents back then, but my grasp of my mother tounge (Punjabi) was and remains, utterly horrible! My cousins would always beg me to stop trying, should I even dare to talk to them in Punjabi, as I never caught the accent or even the tone right.

I got my break when I moved to Cyprus with hubby darling. He had never known of my hidden talent. We both worked for the same organisation there and had a multi cultural team with people from Romania, Ukraine, Israel and of course Indians and Cypriots. My team members loved me and until then I didn’t know I had already started exploiting my talent. But once, hubby overheard me talking to a Romanian colleague and all hell broke loose. ‘Why are you making fun of the poor girl?‘ He lashed out. ‘When did I do that and How?‘. I was told off. Eventually, he did realise that I don’t mean harm and definitely do not mean to insult, and I really have no way to turn off this weird capability of mine.

I nailed them all. If I ever have any chance in the show-bizz, this is definitely going in my resume – Indian, American, Romanian, Greek and most definitely Isreali –  Its the perfect pothuct goup, as in the product group!! Beautiful accents all!!

Work took me to Malaysia and I nailed the local accent there as well. Hubby dear hated it!! Irritated him to the core!! Mission accomplished!

But I was completely and literally lost for words when we had an Australian join our senior management in KL. What embarassment it caused me when, forget about copying his accent, I could barely understand a word of his question during a governance meeting. I made sure, after that incident, that I never run into him again. Stuck to the written word for communication through the rest of my tenure there. I was just not ready and no where close to recovering from this gap in my oh so well accomplished talent.

Bless dear husband, for finding a job in the land down under shortly there after. I was scared , how was I supposed to survive, communicate with locals, find a job here when I struggled to make sense of each syllable popping out of their mouth. First few days were the worst, I could never make eye contact while talking, I kept looking at their lips, they may have excused me for while, perhaps thinking I am partly deaf. But it got to me, I had to make it work. I started watching the local TV, observing/over hearing conversations at cafes, basically redeployed all techniques that I used, to learn English in the first place, as I gradually unlearnt my accent and incorporated Aussie toungue twister lingo. Voila! Few months later, hubby dear started getting irritated again and I knew I got it!! Fair dinkum mate!!

~R

A lens never lies

Most people judge their fitness on how many miles they can walk without huffing & puffing, or what their BMI is; I on the other hand, judge my fitness based on how I look in a photograph. If I look fat, I am unfit, no matter what the weighing scale says; and vice versa. And yes, I have heard of the photo editing tools, and I know the latest ones can even make you look as proportionate as Barbie, but I abominate them from the bottom of my heart, you simply shouldn’t cheat like that.

Looking good in photographs boosts up my inner strength as nothing else does. I used to love being hubby’s model a decade ago, He would spend hours clicking them and I proudly shared them. But you know what, you do gain a lot when you eat lots of cake everyday, and I am not talking about wisdom here. I got the shock of my life when I looked at my then photos 2 years ago, I looked like I had another me seamlessly attached to me. I didn’t really do anything about it at the time though, as I had no motivation, aka ‘photo sessions’ aka holidays or parties coming up. Infact, I started detesting the camera, would hate getting clicked and got even more discouraged and self depriciating if I got to look at any pictures of mine. Aah! Feeling sad on how you look makes you take a guilt trip and is basically not a good space!!

Things are different now. My lifetime dream vacay is coming up. 9 weeks to go!! The motivation is at its peak. Because you cannot be in THE New York and look like a walking balloon, and you most certainly cannot share your photos with the GoldenGate Bridge looking larger than the bridge itself.

To not let the motivation die out any short of the finish line, I have fixed (lots of) rewards for me when I am on this holiday. And to keep my little exercise and healthy eating routine going, I tried a little something today, I did not shy away from getting clicked at an event at work. It served as a checkpoint, established that my routine is working and I am on the right track and at the same time, gave me hope that I can too regain my inner confidence soon.

Make it work (out)

For a long time now, the cycle has been Eat, Drink, Work, Sleep, and Repeat! Its got to change now! Its a new year, afterall. No, I did not realise this 13 days later. Just that this new year day, when I had the universal urge to make a few resolutions yet again, I held back. I thought let me check back in with myself in 2 weeks time, if I am still positive about making any sort of commitment, I’ll do it then! So the time has come and I must commit, because I want to!

Those who know me well, know how much I love change. Change excites me! I love to move houses if not the country, change cars, heck! I have even made darling daughter switch schools three times already, and she’s grade 3!! For those who don’t know, I am currently in my 12th house in 13 years across 4 countries. If I am unable to change house because of whatever constraint, I make sure the place changes they way it looks & feels every few months, an expensive affair, eh! some would say, I say you just got to be creative and it all works out satisfactorily.

I am thinking, my best chance at changing my lifestyle, is by channeling my love for change from the tangibles to the more higher & wiser senses. Let’s see how I get creative here. The goals are set, timeline fixed, hopefully I can make it! Wish me luck!

Love

R

Let go!

The silence then whispered into her ears
‘Don’t let the darkness outside reach your soul so pure,
The fall only defeats you if you never rise again’
She stood up, stood tall and fearless
and walked for miles, beyond the fence
knocked on the door and saw his face
a split second flashback….
overcame all the energy rushing to scream out of her
she smiled, smiled genuinely
‘I forgive you’ She said,‘Good luck!’
as the silence of her heart smiled right back at her!