It sure was a Happy Mother’s Day!

I am a worrier…no you read it correctly, ‘worry-ier’ not ‘warrior’. And ever since I became a mum, I believe I have turned into this paranoid me where my brain constantly filters all incoming information and thoughts first through a does-it-have-a-direct-impact-on-my-child lens and then what-about-an-indirect-impact lens followed by a I-cannot-see-an-impact-but-there-must-be-one-so-lets-make-one-up lens.

Its like my mind comes up with these wierd sense-less negative scenarios and they constantly play in the backdrop of all activity happening in my mind. At first, I used to blame my inner software tester, where the most important attribute to have is to be able to identify scenarios where the system would break and fail. But I think it got too far into my little ‘mommy-brain’.

My worst fear and a cause of constant worry was (and always will be, I guess) that my child will inherit my bad habits or acquire those traits of mine or shall I say drawbacks, which I am not proud of. Worse, what if she inherits my health problems…I would never forgive myself.

A vicious circle of negativity, ey! However, what came about as the most beautiful gift this Mother’s day was something that has slapped these negative thoughts down. My 8yo wrote me a poem, A POEM…..I wonder where she gets it from!!

So what if I pass on a few of my not-so-wonderful talents, such as the ability to sleep for 18 hours straight, at least she’s got something good from me, and heck ya, she’s much better at this than me. See it for yourself:

I Love You Mum

I love roses, I love lilies, but most of all I Love You

and that will always be so true

You hug me so tight

and wake me up when bright

Thank you for all you have done for me

and teach me so much so I succeed

I can rely on you and you can too

so Bestie, I Love You!!

~~Aa & her rainbow friend

N2knyJz1S2SBUH0gF5FzcgTold ya so!!

I hope all you mummies out there had a memorable day….I know I sure did!!

Love

R

Tagged: Momma Drama

We all go through three phases in life. ‘My-mum-my-Superhero’ phase lasts for the first 10 years or so. Its the time when you look up to your mum for anything and everything; she’s the most beautiful face in the world with a cuddle so warm it could just melt your fears away. You tell her everything, share every dilemma, seek her advice on everything and apply it too.

Then comes the fun ‘I-am-the-rebel-hero’ phase. Pretty much when puberty hits. Suddenly, mum’s the one person who knows nothing. You pretty much know it all and know it better. Advice….Nah! Who needs that when you are high on ‘I have to prove I am a grown up’ hormones. Forget about sharing every minute detail of your life, telling her where you are and how long you’ll be there falls below the priority line on our growth chart.

‘My-mother-was-right’ phase follows, usually after having kids of your own. You cry while feeding your child at 1:46am, remembering and cherishing memories of your childhood, you appreciate how your mum could listen to the same story you just had to share with her endless number of times, how you were the top of her priority list every single time, how you became so mean to her, may be even outright rude at times, what pain she may have to brace while raising you…..and all you do is Thank her in your heart for simply being your mum and try and hope and pray that your child sees the ‘superhero’ in you one day.

Life is a full circle, one may wonder

An innocent rain is childhood, teenage a thunder

A storm is necessary at times to shake things up

Let’em fly, rain or thunder, wings up

Fly back home they always will

Aah…The joys of parenting

An empty nest at times

At times, all blanks fill

~

R

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about a Bun from Dad’s oven

 

So this one’s coming right fresh from my mind, and even when it is 1:02 am in this land down under, I couldn’t refrain myself from this pleasure…of writing….writing finally, after so many days…weeks and months I guess!! So after so many stagnant-cursor-watching-sessions of mine & endless encouragements from friendly souls, here I am, ecstatic, to finally type and see the cursor move.

I was just telling hubby dear about this incident, that had happened a few years ago, 4 years ago to be precise. I was a new mommy bee and had just resumed work after a 4-month maternity break. A few weeks later, the employee care community at work had organised a social event where we all had to come to work all dressed up in Indian ethnic wear.  And as we say in India, we do nothing for free, so the community announced that the best dressed would be chosen for a question-answer round and the winners would be prized. That was enough an incentive for a bored office public to come dressed up to work, as dolled up as possible.

As it happened, I got chosen for the question-answer round from my team, strangely enough, as I wasn’t even my very confident self that day – Thanks to my post-partum hormones. Anyway, there I was standing on the small podium of the office cafeteria, faced by my corporate division’s who’s who. The organiser pulled out a question for me from a list full of some old-school beauty pageant’s finale.

The question was “Given a chance, what one thing would you like to change in the world  & Why?” (On another note all-together, thank God I was in India and this question was asked by an Indian, cause had it been for some Aussie, I would have never on the face of this earth understood “Goiven aey choince, what oyaine thoing would you loike to chaonge oin this woerld?” anyway, not being able to understand Aussie accent is completely another story, which I shall truly narrate some other time). Huh..anyway…so hearing this question, the first thought that came to the new-momma-me and that what I blurted out was “I would like to change the system of birth, I would like men to try giving birth”. *clap clap clap*. All the ladies in the crowd couldn’t just stop admiring the proposition as if I was really asking for some votes on this decision that I had to make for the world. Now for the ‘Why’ part of the question, I continued answering “and that is because I believe mums, rather than dads, get more love from their children because they endure physical pain to bring them into this world, and I believe fathers are no less, thus they too deserve the same love & emotions from their children” I had to cut it this short because of course, it was a contest and not a philosophical seminar on “World Improvement Thoughts by Reema Arora”. And not so surprisingly, no one understood the why part of my answer and all the claps faded away. A close friend even told me later that evening that I gave the right answer with a wrong explanation.

I don’t want to tell you what was the contest result because, no prizes for guessing – I didn’t win..Shhh!!

Anyways, so this fine night, I was explaining it to myself what I actually meant when I had said that. See, we all know and believe mothers are the best! We write poems about motherly love and consider it the most divine power on the face of earth, we compare mums to no less than the ultimate power driving the universe. But if we really think, what is it that mums do and dads don’t. Do dads not know how to inculcate values in the young hearts, Do dads not know how to nurture young buds into honest nice humble human beings, Do dads not know how to make them brave enough to face the world, Do dads not know what to feed them, Do dads not know how to make them skilled, Do dads not sit by their bedside when we fall sick, Do dads not worry about them when they forget to return missed calls and don’t show up until 3 am in the morning, Do dads not protect them from evils….Yeah..Dads don’t endure a physical pain to bring them into this world…yes, that’s true, absolutely true…hmm…so we found one thing that dad’s don’t do…but aren’t we forgetting something here… it is not “Dads don’t” it is “ Dads can’t”. Had nature given them an opportunity, probably they would have done it, am sure they would have done it, because they have a huge sense of responsibility & love for their wife and their child. Had they been given an option, they would have certainly chosen themselves over their wives to undergo this unexplainable experience. And who knows, probably they would have handled the post natal much better than us ladies, cause they are much more headstrong, not swayed away by mood swings and less likely to fall into depression. And then the one thing that they don’t do, would have turned around and made them equally loved like mums. Or better still, mum and dad could take turns…an ideal world with complete load balancing!! Aha!!

The point is, we really don’t know what one can achieve unless they are given a chance…God –  I hope you are reading this…

Loads of Love

Reema~~

Unqualified Parenting

I was wondering today that we don’t get any job in the world unless we are qualified for it – forget about the big hot shot degrees holders, even when we employee a domestic help, we ask for her experience and test her cooking/cleaning/babysitting skills before making our decision – everyone wants a skilled person to do their job, be it a multi-national, or a simple household. Fare enough!!

But THEN,  why on earth are we not educated, or checked to be qualified, to be a (good) parent prior to becoming one, when in fact becoming a parent is THE most important job that we probably do in our whole life span – after all it means to have successfully shaped a life, a human being –  who would become an independent individual one day, with whom the society has to deal with one day, who will go on to form another set of family one day….An individual who should know the meaning of loving, respecting, caring, working, living life & yes, PARENTING.

And yet, for the most important job in the world, nobody checks if we can do it right, nobody checks if we have the right skills, nobody, the child doesn’t hold an interview before employing us in the lifelong parenthood contract (that would be weird though…). No checks, absolutely None!! Anyone can become a parent, of course with the right organs in the right place…

People say, parenting comes to everyone naturally. Really?? Does it? I beg to differ here. No it doesn’t. Most of us parents are learning everyday by hit n trial, and most of us feel good about what we do because the results aren’t out yet, they would be out decades later, may be we wont be here when the results would be out.

Some say, its simple, extreme of anything is bad – so just exercise moderation, in love, pampering, anger, feeding etc. But I wonder at times, how much actually IS too much?? And then, there are others who would say, just follow your parents, and I am like yeah!! I wish I could! But just 2 concerns– I cant seem to recall anything from 25 years ago…and I am not living in a time 25 years ago!!!

I wish there was a mandatory parenting course, which could make us all understand some basic concepts on parenting, so that our children would turn out to be better humans than us and of course would then make this world a much safer place to live…

Until then, like all others, I’ll continue parenting on my instincts , keeping faith – fingers crossed for the results!!!

4 reasons to have kids early in your married life

This is for the girls endlessly delaying conception in their married life. Everyone knows about the scientific & biological benefits, blah to it. I am just going to talk about the joy of early parenthood; perhaps you would find some encouragement.

Congratulations!! You have just accomplished the most difficult task in a daughter-in- law’s checklist. You have made your MIL happy!! Of all things, you have given her one less a reason to crib and complain about you. Bravo!!

Your kiddo already has a sibling – in you. When you are a young mum, you have more energy, enthusiasm and ideas to be a child for your child. Until your kid will be big enough to make some good friends for life, you would be easily filling in for their sibling/friends, may be for forever!!

You would have more of the ‘couple’ time later in the life – Once your child would be all settled and by themselves, you and your better half would still not be old enough to be killing time in a rocking chair all day to ease your knees, You would still have many years to live the “couple life” all over again.  A world tour in the forties – who doesn’t want that!!

Grand kids – Your chances of playing with your grandkids are bright. And you would be able to help your kids with their kids in a much more energetic mode.

My Brave Bub!!

Here goes the story. We were on a vacation in Penang when we decided to visit the famous hill. It was a fun ride up to the hilltop and the weather couldn’t have been more pleasant!! The aerial view of Penang was mesmerizing. We were exploring the different cultural exhibit stalls when my brave bub here, noticed the stall where tourists were getting their pics clicked with this giant reptile. I had my heart in my mouth when I saw her daring to line up in the queue to get her pic clicked too. Hub and I were in total amazement, given that it was a snake, a Snake!! and this 3 year old gal wanted to wrap it around herself (perhaps she thought it was just a really broad skipping rope, silly!!)….Anyway, we didn’t want to show her how scared we were, so we did line up with her, and in my mind, I started thinking of ways to trick her into the neighbour henna tattoo stall before her turn comes up. This brave gal didn’t move to get even a lolly unless her turn came and when it did, to my joy, the guy at the stall declared “she’s too young to hold the heavy snake around her neck/back’, but what came next had me shaking from head to toe, “but she could sit with just the tail on her lap while one of her parents holds the snake”!! Aaaaaah, I just wanted to press my hands against her ears, so that she doesn’t hear the alternative solution to her dream click with a Python.

Anyhow, we did try to convince her by saying that the man is saying that only big girls can have a pic with the python and we’ll come here again after a few years to get your pic clicked. But my girl, so full of emotions, said: “I am not so small, I am also a big girl, I always finish my food and you had said that whenever I finish my food I grow”. Now, what would a mom’s heart do at that statement being thrown at it by your oh-so-cute-teary-eyed-gal? Well Well Well, the mom side of my brain ushered in courage in the remaining scared part and there we were, again in the queue.

And our turn came, we were up on the stage. I am not sure I asked how heavy it was, but I can proudly say I was lighter. So there it was this yellow colour biiiig, heavvvy, slimmmyyyy, yuckkkkkk thing wrapped on my neck and shoulders, with my heart sitting next to me, yeah I mean quite literally. Now the twist, this brave and curious-to-wrap-a-snake-on-her-body girl,  suddenly became so scared and couldn’t even manage a smile with the snake so close to her. And because of her, I had to keep the snake on unless she smiles and has a good click, but she didn’t and finally, I gave up.

And this is how the final pic came out, with the cruel mom scaring her cute daughter with the reptile. <Screaming>Now That’s not True!!!!!!!!

DSC_0120

Uniform, Shoes and Cute Little Pigtails!

O my Little Princess

I couldn’t Sleep All Night

Tossing & Turning..Looking at your Angelic Face

Thinking if the time was Right

And As you take your First Steps towards that School Gate

I feel Something in my Heart is Sinking

You are all Delighted, proud of being a big girl today

But my Discomfort, You too are Sensing…

Running, You come Back to Me

to give me a Hug, my Sunshine

That Twinkle in your Eyes tells me

“Mamma I’ll be just Fine…”

There you go running back to the school

Excited to make new Friends and Explore new things

I am as excited too…

But as the gate closes and my Eyes can’t see You

I am restless again and the stupid Tears roll by

Your Father holds my hand and says,“She can manage”

“I know, I know she can…but can I?”

These aren’t the tears of joy I would say, nor of sadness or emptiness…

they are of mixed Feelings..feelings beyond words, that a Mother is made of…..

“My eyes can’t wait for the noon….”

O God!! Why do Little Girls grow up too very soon…