Don’t be stressed, you are blessed!

I’ve realised that the single-most effective way to keep the happiness quotient up in one’s life is Gratitude. Over the last few months, there were mornings where I found myself sinking, God knows under what; and in Rachel Green’s wise words – I felt like there was rock-bottom, 50 feet of crap and then me! I found myself lost in a jungle of soaring high trees with branches made of my goals and tasks that I had to do or was responsible for and however much I tried, I couldn’t reach those branches, whenever I did I fell right back into a deeper trench. I thought of myself as a sole struggling being.

Until one day, it occurred to me that I am not alone, I am so fortunate to not be alone. I am blessed with the world’s most loving & caring husband and a daughter who would forget her own interests to be kind to others. I have a good job and a chance every day to work with some wonderful colleagues, some of whom are my very good friends. I am regularly able to connect with my besties living all over the world. I have a supporting family back in India. I am totally not alone, I am in fact, the opposite of alone!

These days, it is very easy to get sucked into the cyclone of information – there truly is an information overload dumped on us every single day, but no one is managing expectations. There’s tonnes of pressure on every single one of us to be the most awesome human being there ever was – a good child to your parents, an even better parent to you children, an excellent employee, a motivating boss, a caring friend, an eco-friendly citizen and at the same time a flawless, good looking person – in short, the perfect human being, and obviously the non-existent kind!

Even while we sit in our homes during the current lockdown, there’s pressure on most of us, to keep working while we have a job so that we can put food on the table, and not just any food, healthy home-made food of course, oh and while we are saving time on commute, invest time to learn more skills to improve your ‘market value’ (to be able to keep your job, recession is upon us they say!), help the kids with homework and school because you do not want them to lag behind while other parent’s seem to working so hard with their kids to keep up with the curriculum. And while all of that is non-negotiable, keep exercising because everyone will make fun of you on becoming fat ‘by choice’ even when you had ‘loads of time’ at hand to keep fit. Oh, and this is a virus pandemic, keep your house, your infinite stuff and yourself germ-free 24 hours of the day!

If you were nodding your head on the ridiculousness of it all, trust me my friend you are not alone. These are totally unreasonable expectations, that have been imposed on us by none other than ourselves as a society. We need to stop doing that and get real here. Let’s all acknowledge that we are doing our best not only during these lockdown times but all the darn time. I have not met a single person who deliberately wants to fail at any of the roles they play in life. Take a moment to praise the momentous effort all of us put into being a good human being, and that we ARE a perfect version of who we are, in our own little way! I know not who I am but who I am supposed to be – is the root of all stress. Let it go! Instead, count your blessings!

Yes, counting your blessings every single morning helps you see the bigger picture. Gratitude elevates you, on a cloud made of your will-power with wings powered by your blessings and you soar higher and higher to not only touch the branches of those trees but make your own little tree-house up there, so you are no more lost in the jungle but enjoy a rather gorgeous bird’s eye view of this world every single time you open your eyes.

(Virtual) Hugs

R

What would yours be?

Someone asked me today, if I could have one superpower, what would it be? Its a fantastic question, isn’t it? Gets you thinking about what would you truly really want that you cannot have with your normal skillset & talent. Now, some greedy people may have an unrealistic answer to this question, but mine is pretty reasonable…read on and tell me what you think?

If I had one super power, it would be, to have a small tiny little remote control with one button, that does the following on my wish:

  • One click and the whole house goes silent for a few minutes – nada sound from the laundry, or the dish-washer, or the refrigerator, the doorbell wouldn’t go off, that Avenger movie my daughter is watching for the Nth time shuts, the phone wouldn’t utter a beep, the snoring would mute, those people on that yet again Skype meeting would go quiet. How cool would that be, our very own surround no-sound button!
  • Click & hold and the whole world goes into a blip – Now I am no Thanos but just saying it wouldn’t hurt to get rid of all the bad nasty mean people on the planet, people who treat earth like trash, people who treat fellow people like trash, people who treat animals like trash, the racists, the sexists, the bad-ists in general, should get going!!
  • Double click for all the master-chef creations to magically appear in my freezer, the house becomes sparkling clean, no, wait, why only my house, everyone’s house, the whole planet becomes rubbish-free and everyone has good food and drinking water.
  • Triple click and the morons hoarding up on toilet paper and kitchen towels get a big tight slap on their face
  • Nod my head to turn Monday mornings into Friday, evening to be precise!
  • A quick touch to reduce all the weight I’ll gain during this lockdown and ever after
  • Rotate the control in the air to create a window to go into different timezones, near loved ones, with no dreadful flights and immigration checks!!
  • I think that should do it. Told ya mine was pretty practical, eh!

Oh wait, it wouldn’t hurt to have this remote control in rose gold, and very importantly,  it should be able to fit in my chubby but tiny hands as for some reason not all women’s dresses come with pockets..aargh! (wait, I might as well add this to above functionality, Thou shall always make pockets for women’s dresses!). I am pretty darn clear as far as my system requirements are concerned, aren’t I?

Go ahead, tell me yours…

Love

R

It sure was a Happy Mother’s Day!

I am a worrier…no you read it correctly, ‘worry-ier’ not ‘warrior’. And ever since I became a mum, I believe I have turned into this paranoid me where my brain constantly filters all incoming information and thoughts first through a does-it-have-a-direct-impact-on-my-child lens and then what-about-an-indirect-impact lens followed by a I-cannot-see-an-impact-but-there-must-be-one-so-lets-make-one-up lens.

Its like my mind comes up with these wierd sense-less negative scenarios and they constantly play in the backdrop of all activity happening in my mind. At first, I used to blame my inner software tester, where the most important attribute to have is to be able to identify scenarios where the system would break and fail. But I think it got too far into my little ‘mommy-brain’.

My worst fear and a cause of constant worry was (and always will be, I guess) that my child will inherit my bad habits or acquire those traits of mine or shall I say drawbacks, which I am not proud of. Worse, what if she inherits my health problems…I would never forgive myself.

A vicious circle of negativity, ey! However, what came about as the most beautiful gift this Mother’s day was something that has slapped these negative thoughts down. My 8yo wrote me a poem, A POEM…..I wonder where she gets it from!!

So what if I pass on a few of my not-so-wonderful talents, such as the ability to sleep for 18 hours straight, at least she’s got something good from me, and heck ya, she’s much better at this than me. See it for yourself:

I Love You Mum

I love roses, I love lilies, but most of all I Love You

and that will always be so true

You hug me so tight

and wake me up when bright

Thank you for all you have done for me

and teach me so much so I succeed

I can rely on you and you can too

so Bestie, I Love You!!

~~Aa & her rainbow friend

N2knyJz1S2SBUH0gF5FzcgTold ya so!!

I hope all you mummies out there had a memorable day….I know I sure did!!

Love

R

Tagged: Momma Drama

We all go through three phases in life. ‘My-mum-my-Superhero’ phase lasts for the first 10 years or so. Its the time when you look up to your mum for anything and everything; she’s the most beautiful face in the world with a cuddle so warm it could just melt your fears away. You tell her everything, share every dilemma, seek her advice on everything and apply it too.

Then comes the fun ‘I-am-the-rebel-hero’ phase. Pretty much when puberty hits. Suddenly, mum’s the one person who knows nothing. You pretty much know it all and know it better. Advice….Nah! Who needs that when you are high on ‘I have to prove I am a grown up’ hormones. Forget about sharing every minute detail of your life, telling her where you are and how long you’ll be there falls below the priority line on our growth chart.

‘My-mother-was-right’ phase follows, usually after having kids of your own. You cry while feeding your child at 1:46am, remembering and cherishing memories of your childhood, you appreciate how your mum could listen to the same story you just had to share with her endless number of times, how you were the top of her priority list every single time, how you became so mean to her, may be even outright rude at times, what pain she may have to brace while raising you…..and all you do is Thank her in your heart for simply being your mum and try and hope and pray that your child sees the ‘superhero’ in you one day.

Life is a full circle, one may wonder

An innocent rain is childhood, teenage a thunder

A storm is necessary at times to shake things up

Let’em fly, rain or thunder, wings up

Fly back home they always will

Aah…The joys of parenting

An empty nest at times

At times, all blanks fill

~

R

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about a Bun from Dad’s oven

 

So this one’s coming right fresh from my mind, and even when it is 1:02 am in this land down under, I couldn’t refrain myself from this pleasure…of writing….writing finally, after so many days…weeks and months I guess!! So after so many stagnant-cursor-watching-sessions of mine & endless encouragements from friendly souls, here I am, ecstatic, to finally type and see the cursor move.

I was just telling hubby dear about this incident, that had happened a few years ago, 4 years ago to be precise. I was a new mommy bee and had just resumed work after a 4-month maternity break. A few weeks later, the employee care community at work had organised a social event where we all had to come to work all dressed up in Indian ethnic wear.  And as we say in India, we do nothing for free, so the community announced that the best dressed would be chosen for a question-answer round and the winners would be prized. That was enough an incentive for a bored office public to come dressed up to work, as dolled up as possible.

As it happened, I got chosen for the question-answer round from my team, strangely enough, as I wasn’t even my very confident self that day – Thanks to my post-partum hormones. Anyway, there I was standing on the small podium of the office cafeteria, faced by my corporate division’s who’s who. The organiser pulled out a question for me from a list full of some old-school beauty pageant’s finale.

The question was “Given a chance, what one thing would you like to change in the world  & Why?” (On another note all-together, thank God I was in India and this question was asked by an Indian, cause had it been for some Aussie, I would have never on the face of this earth understood “Goiven aey choince, what oyaine thoing would you loike to chaonge oin this woerld?” anyway, not being able to understand Aussie accent is completely another story, which I shall truly narrate some other time). Huh..anyway…so hearing this question, the first thought that came to the new-momma-me and that what I blurted out was “I would like to change the system of birth, I would like men to try giving birth”. *clap clap clap*. All the ladies in the crowd couldn’t just stop admiring the proposition as if I was really asking for some votes on this decision that I had to make for the world. Now for the ‘Why’ part of the question, I continued answering “and that is because I believe mums, rather than dads, get more love from their children because they endure physical pain to bring them into this world, and I believe fathers are no less, thus they too deserve the same love & emotions from their children” I had to cut it this short because of course, it was a contest and not a philosophical seminar on “World Improvement Thoughts by Reema Arora”. And not so surprisingly, no one understood the why part of my answer and all the claps faded away. A close friend even told me later that evening that I gave the right answer with a wrong explanation.

I don’t want to tell you what was the contest result because, no prizes for guessing – I didn’t win..Shhh!!

Anyways, so this fine night, I was explaining it to myself what I actually meant when I had said that. See, we all know and believe mothers are the best! We write poems about motherly love and consider it the most divine power on the face of earth, we compare mums to no less than the ultimate power driving the universe. But if we really think, what is it that mums do and dads don’t. Do dads not know how to inculcate values in the young hearts, Do dads not know how to nurture young buds into honest nice humble human beings, Do dads not know how to make them brave enough to face the world, Do dads not know what to feed them, Do dads not know how to make them skilled, Do dads not sit by their bedside when we fall sick, Do dads not worry about them when they forget to return missed calls and don’t show up until 3 am in the morning, Do dads not protect them from evils….Yeah..Dads don’t endure a physical pain to bring them into this world…yes, that’s true, absolutely true…hmm…so we found one thing that dad’s don’t do…but aren’t we forgetting something here… it is not “Dads don’t” it is “ Dads can’t”. Had nature given them an opportunity, probably they would have done it, am sure they would have done it, because they have a huge sense of responsibility & love for their wife and their child. Had they been given an option, they would have certainly chosen themselves over their wives to undergo this unexplainable experience. And who knows, probably they would have handled the post natal much better than us ladies, cause they are much more headstrong, not swayed away by mood swings and less likely to fall into depression. And then the one thing that they don’t do, would have turned around and made them equally loved like mums. Or better still, mum and dad could take turns…an ideal world with complete load balancing!! Aha!!

The point is, we really don’t know what one can achieve unless they are given a chance…God –  I hope you are reading this…

Loads of Love

Reema~~